STONE 4: ACCOUNTABILITY



Accountability is the antidote to secrecy and keeps us from sliding back into hiding.  When we hide from God, others, and ourselves - we open the door wide for relapse.

Accountability keeps your hidden rooms unlocked and accessible by anyone who holds the key.

It's important to keep yourself accountable by removing the locks from your hidden rooms, but it isn't enough. We must also hand our keys over to others we can trust. 

Now that you have confessed, repented, and forgiven - it's time to become accountable for the decisions you will make from this point forward.

Accountability isn't something you do for a short time, but a lifestyle which will build you into a stronger man.

WHAT DOES ACCOUNTABILITY LOOK LIKE?

What is it supposed to look like? To answer this, let’s turn to a few key Bible texts. The Bible is filled with teaching about the kinds of relationships we are to have and how we are to relate to one another.

James 5:16 – Mutual confession and effective prayer
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.  

This text is the classic creed of accountability groups.  Our first stone of Confession places this truth at the heart of our accountability. You've already taken the biggest step toward being accountable. Now we must look at remaining accountable.

James had a vision of a community of mature believers who prayed prayers of “great power,” that is, earnest, fervent prayer.  As you begin to live within a relationship of accountability, healing and healthy choices begin to take root. 

Hebrews 10:23-25 – Motivating Others to Radical Love and Hope
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

When you link yourself to another and grant them access to your locked rooms, shrinking back in your habit becomes more difficult.

 Answering questions and speaking truth about your desires and commitments move you forward. God has called his people to display Christlike love and understanding while keeping one another on the path.

Hebrews 3:13 – Unearthing Secret Sin
But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

The goal of overcoming your dependence on porn and impurity relies on your perseverance and desire to grow in your faith.

The steady presence of accountability will spur you toward growth and quickly quieten the voices of sin which wants back in bondage.

God calls us to to speak and listen to one another intently and with purpose. When you communicate with your accountablity partner, it should be transparent and operating at the heart level. 

Your accountability relationships must go beyond mere behavior and look at motivations.

  • Behavioral accountability is choosing to be honest with another person or group of people about our obvious habits or tendencies. But it is only the beginning of helpful accountability.
     
  • Motivational accountability is choosing to be honest with another person or group of people about the desires and thoughts that truly drive and move us. This is about getting to the “sin beneath the sin.” It may not even be sin of which we are consciously aware, so we need another set of eyes to help us see what we cannot.

It's time to seek out that accountability partner or group. There is no limit to the amount of accountability partners you set up, but take care in choosing the right person or people who have your best interest at heart.

You also should be mindful of conflicting information which may come from too many input sources. 

The ideal characteristics of your accountability partner:

  • Are they following Christ and leaning on His message of truth?
  • Unafraid to ask you hard questions
  • Are they willing to push through your lip service to get to the heart?
  • Do you trust them?

It is normal for guys to seek out the shelter of a pastor or a counselor to help get the ball rolling. However, seeking a close friend to become your accountability partner will open you up further for lasting and sustained change.  

Inviting someone into your life who already walks the road and lives in the same arena can be vital.


ASSIGNMENT #1:  Find your accountability person or group

  1. Pray for God to reveal a strong accountability partner - then ask them to walk with you.
  2. Join the Virtual Groups here on the app - and start the search in the Accountability Room. 
  3. Start a Virtual Group and begin your journey to accountability.

*A note for your accountability partner:  Remove the burden on them by letting them know you aren't looking for a counselor or someone to help you fix your problems. All you need is someone to keep you honest. A listener is preferred over a problem solver. Encourage them by giving them permission to call you, text you at various times to see how you are doing. 

PS: Don't be surprised if your request for an accountability partner brings about a confession from a close friend about their porn use or sexual sin. This happens often and is evidence of the widespread plague of porn addiction.


ASSIGNMENT #2:  

Find a solution for your screen time. There are many family internet filters and programs on the internet - they do cost money as the technology is quite intense.  

Search away, or you can trust that we've partnered with a great provider. Their prices are very reasonable for solid service.

We have done the work for you and found a solution which fits nicely with our training. 

After testing a dozen solutions, we have partnered with Accountable2You,  a Christian based accountabilty solution for all of your devices. There is a minimal monthly cost and they give a small percentage back to our ministry as a thank you for the referral.  

Use the coupon code: LIVEBOLD. Click the banner, sign up, and come back. 

This program doesn't stop the porn from coming through your computer, but it does send text messages and emails to your accountability partner when you access those sites.

After signing up and installing on your devices, you will be able to add your accountability partner to your main account if they are willing. You will need their email address.  

We aren't as interested in removing the evil from the world... which only God can do. We are more interested in helping you conquer the evil in the world through God. Make sense? 


Now let's move on to STONE #5: Behavior Change / Triggers