STONE 1: CONFESSION



If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
~ 1 John 1:9


Secrecy is the prison which keeps men bound and tied without a chain or a single strand of rope.  Secrecy is fueled by fear and strengthened by shame and self-doubt.  

Confession is the fastest way out of your darkness and the most important foothold you can find in making your first step.

At this point in your journey, you stand in the company of strong and overwhelming evidence that you are suffering from some type of shame. This shame comes from an overriding feeling of being "less than" some expection you hold.  

The expectations of how you should be living, acting, thinking, believing, etc. come from three places:  

  1. Others who have influenced you and helped set your expectations.
  2. The expectations you hold for yourself.  
  3. The expectations God has given every man through His truth. 

The Stone of Confession is about releasing the power and control that secrecy has over your life. Facing the feeling of "shame" or that feeling of being "less than" the man you feel God has called you to be, can be difficult.

Confession is the first step to freedom and it opens the door to receiving God's gift of being "greater than". 

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.  1 John 4:4

So, the first stone you have to lift and move is confession.  We confess ourselves to God because only He is able to release you. We trust in God alone for deliverance because He has overcome, through Jesus Christ, anything the world has to offer.  

Confession is the starting point and opens the door for God to supernaturally change your soul.  Confession allows us to open the door to receive God's grace and mercy and creates a window for us to change our mind and body. 

God instantly heals your soul and purifies your life, but the work of re-wiring and repairing your God-designed machine (the human body) will take time. After all, you didn't become addicting to impure living over night. 

Once we confess oursleves to God, we must aim to restore our powerful and effective life of faith. 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  ~ James 5:16

The work of confession doesn't stop with coming clean to God.  The process of confession is completed when we come clean with your soul mate and your brothers who are walking in faith alongside you. 

This confession to a brother, a helper, a counselor, a mentor, a coach, or a community of believers is the key to finding the strength to complete your journey to purity.

Confession is the first move. It is a restoration of your soul and connection with God.  Later, we'll look at the resotoration of your mind and body.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE IDEA OF SIN AND CONFESSION:

Porn isn't necessarily the problem. An impure life doesn't always use porn, sex, or lust to show it's presence. An impure attitude is at the root of sin.  But let's be clear, what we are addressing here isn't a "sinful act".

We aren't looking to cure the porn problem, we are aiming to bring purity back to your heart.  It is likely that through this process, you will find restoration in many areas of your life. 

A distinction should be made between sin and sins. We use the word sins to denote failures or immoral acts against God. However, the issues isn't how many times you've broken those promises to God, it's the core desire to remain at arms length from God.

Confession allows you to accept that you aren't perfect. There is nothing you can do to be perfect. God only sees you through the perfection of Jesus Christ. 

Sin is our alienation from God, our willful act of turning from God as the center of life and making our own selves and our own wills the center. From this fundamental sin is where porn takes foothold.

This refusal to bow your soul to the creator of the universe and creator of your soul causes problems.

  • Separation from God: Trying to go it alone, to be out of touch with the God who is the center of life, places you spirtually distant. Simply purging porn from your life can't fix this. Only the full acceptance of Jesus Christ as your teacher, leader, king, and saviour will remedy this condition of all mankind.  Have you completely given yourself to serve Christ?
     
  • Separation from other people: A secret act of sin like porn causes a man to become isolated and selfish. Use of porn exploits others for your own advantage - often at the expense of others.  Porn re-wires you to love things and use people. 
     
  • Separation from ourselves: You turn even from your own center and then become at war with yourself.  Sometimes it seems that there are two wills warring within us. As Paul put it, "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate" (Romans 7:15).

Porn is not a problem to be solved, it's a change which brings God into our lives to rebuild the temple he carefully constructed in your mother's womb.

Simply quitting porn won't remove the burden - but addressing the core sin and shame will remove the burden. Confession is the tool to remove this stone.


ASSIGNMENT: 

DURATION:  7 DAYS

  • Spend time in prayer.  Speak with God humbly and honestly from your heart. Confess what your sin feels like, what it is, and the powerless feeling you have to overcome. Admit your inability to win without His guiding hand.
     
  • Find a brother / helper you can trust. Confess your porn problem face to face with this person. Release the secret.
     
  • Ask him to pray over you and with you through this journey. 
     
  • Begin praying for the people in your life who have been impacted by your porn/impurity. Ask God to soften their heart toward your confessions. Ask for courage, timing, and the right words to say.  Ask God to open the door of confession to those you have sinned against.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  ~ Matthew 5:27-28

  • If you are married, engaged, or in a one-on-one relationship, it's time to confess your sin to your partner.
  • Prepare for a range of emotions and distrust.  
  • Your heart has been having sex with others and denying your partner.
  • Be gentle with their feelings, accusations, and response.
  • Trust God to restore what has been broken.  
  • Let them know you are walking this pathway to purity.  
  • You may offer them forgiveness, but let them know the conversation isn't over. Give them time and space. Deep forgiveness is on the way.

Remember it is God who holds your soul, not other people. As much as they love you - God loves you more.

Stay focused on the desire to become right with God and He will honor your confession. The relationships we hold here and now are important and become the living representation of God's love for us.

Be gentle, be understanding, and stand firm in your commitment to win.

Now, the hard work is over.  This heaviest of stones has been removed from your backpack.  

Now let's quickly move to, STONE 2: Repentance